Serious About The Craft

"I know what you're thinking...did he fire sixteen shots or only fifteen. But, this being a Glock 34, the finest combat handgun made and will blow a barn door out the back of your head, you have to ask yourself...." Detective Crazy Henry McClanahan.

If you are waiting to find out what the guy had to ask himself, perhaps this is not the right blog for you.

If you had your whiskey, tango, foxtrot moment nine words into this post, welcome. We are kindred souls.

I was doing the grocery shopping today when a woman passed me, talking to the person with whom she was cruising the aisles. Something had happened and the first woman said "I'm dying here, Smalls."

Puuhhhh-leeeze.

The line is "You're killing me, Smalls." It is from the movie The Sandlot. In the world of movie lines, it is iconic, worthy of respect, dignity, even reverence. There is, truly, no reason to paraphrase.

Thus it has been written, and thus truly said, that paraphrasing a movie line is like defacing a fine sculpture, or painting. A screenwriter somewhere labored over it, honed it, loved it. A gifted actor...well, an actor, anyway...delivered it in such a way as to cement its place in the world of movie line-dom. They should be cherished, nurtured and delivered at the right place, the right time and with just the right inflection. To wit:

Things are tense in the ole Command Post. Acting on the "commander's intent," the Ops person has put together a series of plans and contingencies to deal with the emergency. The incident commander turns to the SWAT Team leader and asks his/her opinion. "I love this plan," is the response. "I'm excited to be part of it!" Everyone laughs, because -

It isn't just the line, it's the situation in the movie being summoned. The Ghostbusters have been driven back ("If someone asks if you are a god, you say YES") and are about to "cross the streams..."

No?

My daughters and I are moving furniture, so we can put down Pergo floors. I say "Pivot it a little." In unison both yell "Pivot!" and begin laughing so hard they have to set the thing down. It is from Friends, which I guess means it isn't technically a movie line. The fact that I've never seen that episode doesn't mean that I don't say it (or, that including it in a manuscript is out of line) to get the chuckle the girls got.

Which brings me to a peripheral point. Movie lines are gender neutral. Women are as adept, as talented, as good at this art as men, sometimes better. My wife and daughters can rock a movie line with the best of them.

Pivot has entered our lexicon, just as:

(The late comedian John Pinette is at a Dairy Queen and there is a skinny person in front of him.) "The guy says 'How small is a small?' It's small. The mediums are medium, the larges are large. If you have to ask how small is a small you're not hungry enough. COME BACK LATER!"

So when a good friend asked the barista, "How small is a small?" I couldn't help myself. I had to channel John Pinette. "It's small."

But the art requires accuracy. Would an aficionado of John Wayne quotes say "Fill your paw?" Did The Terminator say "I shall return?" The "Make My Day" law in Colorado was so named because THAT'S WHAT DIRTY HARRY SAID!

So, look. Can we all just agree. Movie lines are...sacred. Have some respect.

Worthy of the Jersey

"Caution is the key to safe cycling. I'm aware that cars are bigger than me, but I feel quite safe. I'm in control, liberated and free, when I'm on my bike." Erin O'Connor

"Hey, can I get one of those jerseys?" the man asked.

"Of course," was my answer. It was true enough. Fortunately, that's where I stopped talking.

Saturday morning dawned a hopelessly bright, blue day. By 9AM it was warm enough to cycle in short sleeves. The meeting place teemed with cars, joggers and other cyclists as the group formed. Everyone signed a release, me included. That was an unnecessary gesture in my - Worker's Comp covered me in the event I was injured. I was there on official business.

Bike copping. Okay, this was strictly PR, as an ambassador for cycling with a local bike advisory group. They'd scheduled a group ride to raise awareness and asked for an officer to accompany them. In uniform, on a police bike... Can do.

I was stationed at the back, a sort of overwatch position that also put the "POLICE" letters on the back of my jersey at what was really the head of the line. That would be the first thing an overtaking motorist would see. Funny, it kept the comments about getting off the street to a quiet minimum. Hence the man's request for a jersey like mine. 

Contemplating a more complete answer to his question gave me pause. Was it really appropriate to say to a community member trying to make conversation:

"It really is a simple process. First, you have to apply for the job. My first time out nearly a thousand people competed for twenty or so open positions. Minimal qualifications included a bachelor's degree. 

Passing the screening advanced someone to the psychological tests, polygraph and oral board phase. Did the candidate harbor any prejudices (do you?)? What were their law enforcement goals? Did they possess good judgement? Maturity?

A few are backgrounded. Their friends, family, employers (always an interesting call - 'Oh, you didn't know (candidate) had applied to be a police officer?') are contacted and asked a series of personal, intrusive questions. Rejection lurks with every answer. A minor indiscretion ignored in other professions can end a police career before it begins.

Finally, the job offer.

The Police Academy... A remarkable experience. Military Academies are often called a "Million dollar education shoved up your ass one nickle at a time." With Police academies - 870 hours of training over five and a half months - one might only quibble about the dollar value attached. The paramilitary nature of the experience begins with the first classes. Inspections, running, hollering... Everything by the numbers, PT for both fitness and punishment. Scrutiny the likes of which most young men and women have never endured. "I thought the military held me to standards," said one recruit recently. "This (the police academy) exceeds anything I ever did in the military." Weekly tests, for which hours of studying are required simply to pass. A final - pass and you keep going. Fail, and all of the effort to get this far could be wasted. 

Graduation day only means progressing to field training. Sixteen weeks of having experienced officers specially trained in turning recruits into rookies. Every action is scrutinized, critiqued, discussed. Is the recruit courageous? Can they put into practice the skills and knowledge acquired in the classroom? Do five things at once? Listen, learn, digest? There is a report card every day, a list of things done well, poorly or... The big questions asked by the entire work force - would I want to work with this person? Can I trust them when my back is turned? Am I (paraphrasing A Few Good Men) willing to place my life into their hands, and accept theirs into mine? Do they have the right temperament to succeed when everything around them is going wrong? Can they be counselor, savior, saint to the rescue? Are they the right combination of warrior and social worker?

Succeeding there is only the beginning. Rookies pay dues for several more years. They take the reports, book the evidence. Particularly vile offenders seem to magically find their way into an FNGs car. The fun stuff? Sorry, we don't trust you, yet.

Finally, they are off official probation and can aspire to things like...bike cop. Then, a three day class that teaches skills beyond anything a recreational rider thinks a bike can do. 

Then a person can put on the jersey that says "POLICE" on the back."

Simple.

But the man was being nice, and was trying to make conversation with the police sergeant escorting his ride.

"It's very comfortable," I offered. "And we're always looking for good people to come help us out."

Good people who are worthy of the jersey.

Plus One

Please welcome back my friend AJ. In this guest post he describes the other side of the law enforcement challenge coin - the commitment shown by police spouses. Sometimes called the "Plus One," spouse is a generic that includes not only married couples, but also those committed couples who have not yet tied the knot. There was a time when "police wife" described the genre, but now it includes everyone who has devoted themselves to a relationship with a cop. They are a special class. They know loneliness, they share a life with someone who experiences horrors the average person does not. To my wife Pat, who has stood by me for 23 years while I pursued a law enforcement career, and to everyone who "loves a cop," this is dedicated to you.

I come home at the end of my shift and yes all are sleeping, but I look at my wife and it started to make me think. Yes I do think. We praise LEO's and are going through tough changes in law enforcement. However, I'm not sure at first my wife knew what she was getting into, marrying me and my job.

However, I feel we need to praise all the spouses out there who learn to accept the long nights, and fear if we are coming home. Yet they keep the household going. My wife Danielle has taken it a step further asking me one day maybe close to a year ago are there any spouse support groups where I work. I had to think briefly and said no. She had started out with a group from many different depts and wanted one for my PD. 

We all know the politics that can come into play but she stuck with it and actually got awesome buy in from command staff. This group of spouses is growing. They are there to help each other understand police work and why we might act and be certain ways. She then worked at first with just three other spouses to show their appreciation for what we do. The number joining is growing and the things they are doing blows my mind and others I work with. [Pat is one of them - ed].

Danielle didn't start this for glory, awards, fame but just to let us know people care, especially spouses. If it where not for these strong women and men we would all be single. I am so proud of her and the others involved. It is still growing and to know they are there for us gives another sense of why we continue and don't give up. These are spouses that have jobs and other responsibilities but have done some of the most meaningful, fun things for our dept I feel they need a big thank you. Danielle I knew you were special when we meet and you continue to amaze me in your support of my career. I thank you and love you for what you started and being there through the good and bad.

I know I for one probably could not have made it through certain things but you are always there. LEO's need to remember our spouses are our main lifeline and keep that in your memory banks, because without them we wouldn't be as strong as we are.

Thanks sweetie keep up the good work I know it benefits both of us and the more that get involved there is no telling where you all will bring this.
Thanks and love
Anton

Memorial Day Hero

From The Sedalia Observer, May 2013

FORT LEAVENWORTH, Kan. – Sgt. 1st Class Trenton L. Rhea, 33, of Kansas City, Mo., died May 15 in Kandahar, Afghanistan. He was a member of the 603rd Military Police Company, in Belton. He deployed under Operation Enduring Freedom.
He is survived by his wife, Leah Reid Rhea, his daughters, Autumn, Joanna and Abigail, his father Marshall, his mother Rebecca, twin brother Travis, sister Samantha Repshire, step-mother Julie, step-brother Jody Kruse, step-sister Jade Kruse, grandmother Eileen Rhea, grandfather Kenny Breeden, and his in-laws, Harlan and Lynn Reid.

According to his family, Rhea was an amazing father, husband, brother, and son who loved his family and God. He was a great leader who led by example and considered his soldiers as family. His family said Rhea was a very caring, sincere man who put others first. He had a wonderful sense of humor and was “the nicest guy you would ever meet,” according to his wife, Leah. Rhea’s hobbies were spending time with his family and studying history.

Rhea was an Army Reserve Military Policeman who deployed three times overseas to United States Naval Station Guantanamo Bay, Iraq and Afghanistan, plus a stateside assignment at Fort Riley, Kan. In Afghanistan, his mission was to train the Afghan Police Force, which Rhea considered very important as it benefited the Afghan people. He has been awarded several military honors, to include the Bronze Star Medal, Meritorious  Service Medal, Army Commendation Medal and Army Achievement Medal.

Rhea’s civilian employment was with the Human Terrain System at Fort Leavenworth.

The Rhea’s are members of the First Baptist Church of Platte City. Mrs. Rhea stated her husband was a devoted man whose desire was to raise a strong Christian family.

Stop

Two officers this week killed deploying, setting out or otherwise using stop sticks. I only have one observation.

Get rid of these fucking things.

Cadet Trooper Taylor Thyfault - thank you for your service, however brief. It is the act of stepping up and saying "Pick me" that demonstrates courage. You will be missed.

Okay, maybe that was two observations.

And, His Head Explodes

"In a 5-4 ruling, the justices agreed with a lower court that the tax is unconstitutional because it discourages Maryland residents from earning money outside the state." Supreme Court Strikes Down Double Tax Law, Fox News, May 18, 2015.

Law Porn Alert


Comptroller of the State of Maryland v. Wynne, Et Ux is an amazingly tasty case. The oft-indulged "Liberal Wing" v. "Conservative Wing" pasture apple nonsense into which the press descends is nowhere to be found.

Okay.... It's cold and cloudy. I have no desire to return to work after two weeks off (one spent primarily with a book, a beach, a drink and my soul mate beside me). I'm waiting for lunch to settle before I head to the gym. And I read the above in a story about a Supreme Court decision. I mutter the epithet commonly known as "YHGTBFKM." The dogs scatter.

The case is a thorough (some might say "nauseating") examination of what is called the "Dormant Commerce Clause." Dormant, Justice Scalia points out, because it is not contained in the Constitution. It is a creature of a Supreme Court intent on deciding what is good tax policy and implementing it. Or, ordering its implementation, anyway. As Justice Scalia points out, the Commerce Clause says, in whole: [The Congress shall have Power] To regulate Commerce with foreign Nations, and among the several States, and with the Indian Tribes. The dormant part of the clause (now you've read the whole thing - does it look like something is sleeping in there?) was totally invented, a long time ago, by judges.

Sigh. Okay, maybe Congress has written a law on this subject? No. Maybe another part of the Constitution permits The Supremes to strike down tax policy it finds disadvantageous in Maryland? Nope. How about if the law "discourages" some kinds of commerce, and not others, irrespective of a federal law to that effect?

Commonly, in places where Congress chooses to legislate they are said to "occupy the field." States may not intrude by passing laws that contradict the Federal statutes. In the absence of Congressional action (I know - the US Code is thick enough to require a crane to lift it) States are free to craft their own solutions, unless the Constitution prohibits it to the States (a Bill of Rights thing, involving the "incorporation doctrine." Truly, I loved teaching this shit at Metro). That's not what is going on here. The Supreme Court could not be bothered overturning what is plainly a power grab.

Scalia's opinion is worth reading, but Ginsburg's dissent twists the knife. Any court case in which Kagan, Ginsburg, Scalia and Thomas join in dissent is law porn. Although, that all in one sentence is kind of creepy, isn't it?

Of course, the Fox News story and headline (assist, AP) so far misses the point that it should be illegal to print. A law is unconstitutional because it violates the Constitution. Discourages Maryland residents?! Oh, you poor baby.

I'm going to the gym.

1033, Baby

"According to philosophy professor Harry Frankfurt, however, the 'essence of bullshit is not that it is false but that it is phony.'" William Voegeli, National Review, November 13, 2013.

"Breaking News: The White House announced that it will no longer allow federal programs to supply local police forces with some military-style equipment amid an outcry over police treatment of minority communities and protesters." Fox News, May 18, 2015.

It is colloquially called the 1033 Program. In a nutshell, it is intended to provide surplus military equipment to law enforcement organizations. According to Wiki: "The most commonly obtained item from the 1033 program is ammunition. Some of the other most commonly requested items include cold weather clothing, sand bags, medical supplies, sleeping bags, flashlights and electrical wiring. Grenade launchers and vehicles such as aircraft, watercraft and armored vehicles have also been obtained."

I have not personally seen in recent years airplanes, boats or tanks that were obtained from the military. Although a low pass in a formerly mothballed A-10 might discourage a persuadable hostage taker or two, generally it is cost prohibitive to obtain the really cool stuff. For example mechanized vehicles that are readily available are..."pre-owned," the replacement parts for which are not on a shelf at Auto Zone.

As for the other stuff... Puh-leeeze.

What ails law enforcement circa 2015? Partisans of all persuasion are available to cash grant checks, fill unreadable volumes and belly up to microphones to offer fabulous-sounding hogwash. "Ron Davis, director of the Office of Community Oriented Policing Services at the Department of Justice, told reporters he hoped the [President's Police Reform Task Force] report could be a 'key transformational document' in rebuilding trust that has been destroyed in recent years between police and minority communities," says Fox News. Davis is billed as a 30 veteran, once a California police chief. Their article has a helpful picture of a SWAT sniper overwatching a "relatively small crowd."

Well, here's the opinion of another 30 year veteran. Law enforcement as practiced in the United States in 2015, as a general statement, is the most professional it has ever been. Officers are more carefully selected, better trained, better equipped and held to a higher standard than ever before. The degree of scrutiny is closer than ever, and will become closer still. None of that is a bad thing.

Public support for law enforcement, despite breathless media coverage to the contrary, continues to be strong. Individuals who live and work in communities (as opposed to talking heads who arrive, do  few pithy interviews and depart for the next career-enhancing story) are familiar with the strengths and challenges of their officers. They accept that men and women are fallible, that sometimes there is inequity in the most reasonable soul. Plainly, people who see law enforcement as a basic good in their community don't demand perfection.

What can we do better? First, we can listen to our community. "(Citizens) call us half a million times a year," a retired police commander once commented. "You think maybe we should look at what they want, as a start?" 

Next, let's stop looking at citizens as a revenue enhancement stream. Enforcement action is meant to solve public safety problems. It is not designed to solve budget shortfalls. The Justice Department report on the Ferguson Police Department began that conversation.

Finally, let's stop listening to the loudest voice. "Just because your voice reaches halfway around the world," said Edward R. Murrow, "doesn't mean you are wiser than when it only reached the end of the bar." Grown men and women searching for real solutions don't have time to waddle in front of a microphone, proclaim themselves outraged, and then disappear to the next community. Media are not hoping to be part of the solution - they are hoping to increase readership and make money doing it. You want to know what should be done?

Lower voices. Turn off the TV. Stop listening to know-nothing social media (except Bikecopblog). Engage a police officer in a discussion and ask them. They will jokingly ask for more money, and then they will say, in their own way:

"Give us more of a say in how police services are delivered.Get the politicians, and the politics, out of our police cars. We know what makes our communities safer, and more just. We know the rules, who among us isn't following them (we want them gone as much as anyone). And then, when we make mistakes, treat us fairly and with dignity. We are doing our best."

It isn't about grenade launchers, MRAPs and BDUs. Anyone who tells you that is talking bullshit.