Friday, May 29, 2015

Plus One

Please welcome back my friend AJ. In this guest post he describes the other side of the law enforcement challenge coin - the commitment shown by police spouses. Sometimes called the "Plus One," spouse is a generic that includes not only married couples, but also those committed couples who have not yet tied the knot. There was a time when "police wife" described the genre, but now it includes everyone who has devoted themselves to a relationship with a cop. They are a special class. They know loneliness, they share a life with someone who experiences horrors the average person does not. To my wife Pat, who has stood by me for 23 years while I pursued a law enforcement career, and to everyone who "loves a cop," this is dedicated to you.

I come home at the end of my shift and yes all are sleeping, but I look at my wife and it started to make me think. Yes I do think. We praise LEO's and are going through tough changes in law enforcement. However, I'm not sure at first my wife knew what she was getting into, marrying me and my job.

However, I feel we need to praise all the spouses out there who learn to accept the long nights, and fear if we are coming home. Yet they keep the household going. My wife Danielle has taken it a step further asking me one day maybe close to a year ago are there any spouse support groups where I work. I had to think briefly and said no. She had started out with a group from many different depts and wanted one for my PD. 

We all know the politics that can come into play but she stuck with it and actually got awesome buy in from command staff. This group of spouses is growing. They are there to help each other understand police work and why we might act and be certain ways. She then worked at first with just three other spouses to show their appreciation for what we do. The number joining is growing and the things they are doing blows my mind and others I work with. [Pat is one of them - ed].

Danielle didn't start this for glory, awards, fame but just to let us know people care, especially spouses. If it where not for these strong women and men we would all be single. I am so proud of her and the others involved. It is still growing and to know they are there for us gives another sense of why we continue and don't give up. These are spouses that have jobs and other responsibilities but have done some of the most meaningful, fun things for our dept I feel they need a big thank you. Danielle I knew you were special when we meet and you continue to amaze me in your support of my career. I thank you and love you for what you started and being there through the good and bad.

I know I for one probably could not have made it through certain things but you are always there. LEO's need to remember our spouses are our main lifeline and keep that in your memory banks, because without them we wouldn't be as strong as we are.

Thanks sweetie keep up the good work I know it benefits both of us and the more that get involved there is no telling where you all will bring this.
Thanks and love

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