A Plan

"Everyone has a plan 'till they get punched in the mouth." Mike Tyson.

Spring is in the air. Four times in the last two weeks it was warm enough to work in a bike ride. My leg injury is virtually healed. Time to get motivated. Work out, and:

Plan A - eat right. Minimal trips to El Jimador, one celebratory marg on National Margarita day and...dessert? Ha! Watching my weight ties closely to enjoying the bike.

Plan B - contract acute gastroenteritis.

According to WebMD, stomach "flu" is a misnomer. The standard virus causing gastrointestinal distress in adults is norovirus, tiny pestilent asshole of cruise ship fame. Not associated with an influenza strain, it is characterized by all of the usual horrors of the 24 hour fits. The only benefit seems to be rapid weight loss.

My wife, helpful as always, has consulted Brown University for guidance. Clear broths, plain pasta and then grains as a way out of the abyss. "It may take up to two weeks for your bowels to recover." She is an astonishingly bright woman, capable researcher and soon-to-be PhD. I appreciate her guidance, but that last little bit we could have saved until later.

Friends who have endured this report that several weeks pass before they are back to normal. But.... It's supposed to be 68 this week! Okay - let's see if the little bastards can keep up.