The Permissions

The Saudi Colonel, who looked like a cross between Omar Sharif and Mr. Potato Head, had a group of soldiers line up and level their rifles at us. "YOU DO NOT HAVE THE PERMISSIONS! HOW CAN YOU BE COMING HERE WITHOUT THE PERMISSIONS WHEN I AM THE PERSON MAKING THE PERMISSIONS FOR YOU TO COME HERE!? YOU MUST GO BACK TO DHAHRAN  AND GET THE PERMISSIONS FROM ME THERE TO COME HERE AND GIVE ME PERMISSIONS!!!" shouted the Colonel.

In vain it was explained to the colonel that this was an official British military convoy, the British were Saudi allies [and] this was Kuwait, not Saudi Arabia.

In the end it turned out what the Saudi colonel wanted was a sufficiently abject and humiliating apology from the British officers for, I guess, failing to fill out, in triplicate, the Request for Permission to Help Keep the King of Saudi Arabia from Getting the Holy Kaaba Stuffed up his Butt by Saddam Hussein Form or something.

PJ O'Rourke, Give War a Chance, 1992.

"You may not have done what you were asked, but you will do what you are told."

Cool Runnings

Who hasn't had an occasional opportunity to happen upon a person who, invested with some petty authority, will not let you accomplish a simple, innocuous task without getting "the permissions?" It doesn't have to be the usual suspect - DMV - it can be almost anyone who has something you want, and holds it hostage until you've admitted that only they can say yes.

Life is currently sort of like a scene in the movie Twister, where the storm has passed and everyone who made it through tentatively open cellar doors, push aside debris and marvel at their good fortune. There is clean up to be done, there are the injured to care for, the departed to mourn. But, the sun's out and we all made it.

Governor Jared Polis, at the helm in Colorado, has done well. His pressers are designed to keep his citizens in the loop, let us know why the rules are the rules and give us hope that he will trust us to be adults about the transition back to "normal." He recently announced a lifting of the "Shelter at Home" edict in favor of "Don't be a Moron" guidelines allowing some relaxation of the rules causing our favorite Mexican restaurant to have to leave the margaritas on our porch and run.

Halla-frickin'-lewya. It isn't that the virus is gone. One can still get very sick and die, especially if you are over 60 (me) and have some other malady (also me). The coast isn't entirely clear, but with rational behavior and reasonable precautions the risks are manageable.

But, wait!! Jefferson County, Boulder County and others have issued a "Not So Fast" order. Hear, again, Governor Polis:

“What Denver has done, in a very thoughtful way, is they said ‘we need a little more time to operationalize, to figure out how we’re going to enforce these health requirements,’” Polis said. “It’s completely understandable that somebody is saying, ‘Look, May 1 we’re not ready to have the inspections of the retail to make sure they are safer and all of these things. We need another week.’”

Jefferson County, where I live, jumped on the bandwagon the very next day. It isn't that the emergency is still with us. The proper bureaucracy isn't yet in place.

You have read on these pages (What to Believe) that we were, and are, on board with the measures taken at the outset. We did what we were told, in our interest and in the interest of those around us. We'll keep to the Code as it relates to safety precautions. Okay, maybe we fudged a little so we could see the grandkids. But, for the most part, we'll continue to do our part. We even have some awesome masks for when we venture out.

But... Until there are enough inspectors to give us the permissions so that we can go into a store and give them the permissions to shop, we're stuck? It's still illegal for us to drive up north to see our grandkids?

Not a fan, Jared, buddy. At all.