We're Going To Be Fine

How do you like [your grits] - regular, creamy or al dente?" Vincent Gambini (Joe Pesci) My Cousin Vinnie (1992)

I'm on X a lot. Yes, it's a maelstrom of vitriol and dyspepsia. Yes, it is a playground for political operatives, bots and fellow-travelers intent on bleating "The world is ending and [my chosen demographic] will suffer the most." It probably says more about me than I care to imagine, but...

I am a small business owner. I have products to sell. It makes it a little hard, self-described as a "romantic suspense freelance writer," to be taken seriously when the June Law Porn is being slung... On second thought, that may be a marketing angle I haven't considered.

But, I digress.

Last night, a conversation (convo on X, if you are saving characters) began about the changes to the Cracker Barrel menu. The politics of the present CEO were discussed, not especially pleasantly. The memes were unforgiving. 

My interest was more about grits. The times I've gone to Cracker Barrel, I've usually ordered eggs and grits. Even for a northern/western boy, good grits are a treat. I entered the fray, saying that I would be miffed if grits disappeared from the menu. Half a dozen likes and comments from others later I went to bed.

Hundreds of likes and dozens of comments greeted me when I woke up this morning. Recipes, recommendations that I make them myself, suggestions about where to get just the right ground hominy. Several people suggested polenta, but according to Google AI:

 No, polenta and grits are not exactly the same, though they are both made from ground corn and have a similar creamy texture when cooked. Polenta is traditionally made from yellow flint corn, while grits are typically made from white dent corn. Polenta is also generally coarser than grits and is more common in Italian cuisine, while grits are a staple in the Southern United States.

Recipes are being exchanged, differences between breakfast and dinner grits discussed. Three separate companies making ground hominy were suggested - several of us ordered some based on the discussion.

 One person commented that I should try Luciles in Denver. We have. I usually order the etouffee, but once had the shrimp and grits (to die for). I reported that and the other person on X wrote, "See?"

Many of the people with whom I've exchanged on the subject of grits reveal in their personal descriptions political inclinations far different than mine. None of that has mattered. Being a Yankee apparently does, but a willingness to listen and learn overcomes even that hurdle.

We're going to be okay. I'm going to order some ground hominy, make myself some eggs and grits for breakfast this weekend and consider myself part of a larger community - the entire grit-eating world.

Cat Paws

 You can't enjoy art or books in a hurry. E. A. Bucchianeri.

I'll say. The master at this has been reading The Heart of the Matter one page at a time for the last two months. Not just one page a day, but one page...periodically.

The reader has gotten past the title page, the acknowledgements and is into the introductory material. Karen is with her training deputy - called FTO or FTI for field training officer/instructor - and they are discussing how her previous years in law enforcement make her different from recruits without experience. Readers who have picked up this book (without reading Out of Ideas) are introduced to who Karen Sorenson is, where she's from and how she finds herself in a sheriff's office patrol car.

And...that's it.

So, you ask - why do I care?

The answer is necessarily mercenary. I get paid by Amazon as a self-publishing freelance writer one of three ways. 

A person purchases a book, either an ebook or a paperback. Assuming they don't return it (which happens) I get a royalty amounting to a little over a $1. They can do whatever they want with the book after that. I prefer they read it, love it and decide they want more, but aside from trying to write compelling stories I don't have much control.

A person who has a Kindle Unlimited subscription can read the book. Every few pages, I get a penny*. Read every page and I get...a little over a dollar.

A person can have an Audible subscription. Listen to a few pages, I get a penny. Most of the books are available on Audible. The AI voice is remarkably good, although some of the things obvious in text take some getting used to as it is read. That is remedied in A Matter of Principle, which will be the first of my novels written specifically with Audible in mind.

Or... Someone leaves their Kindle open to Heart and their cat swipes at the screen occasionally. If so - good kitty! 

 

*Band of Brothers aficionados are now saying, "Got a penny" like George Luz did.

 

Are Ya Good?

 First responders are such an emotional wasteland. Rachel Feinstein, comedian.

Let me first begin by saying she's fine. If she wasn't, I wouldn't be writing this.

In the aftermath of wife Pat taking a spill during a dog walk, she was telling the story of it - the dog zigged, she zagged and in the effort not to fall over the dog she ended up in a heap on someone's front lawn - a friend said, "And Jim went, 'WHAAAAA??!!"

No, Jim didn't.

 Comedian Rachel Feinstein describes going to the hospital to deliver her first baby, with her husband (a New York City firefighter) driving them:

We had to stop so I could get out and puke. He just rolls down the window, leans across the seat and says, "Are ya good?" Are you kidding me....Are ya good? I'm carrying his child and all I get is, "Are ya good?" That's what you say when you're helping someone with a sofa.

  I was distracted at the time by our little Havanese, who paces just before she decides to poop. False alarm, but when I turned Pat was on the lawn of a corner house, looking like this wasn't the initial plan. Jed, our ancient Portuguese Water Dog, stood staring at her with an expression approximately like I must have had.

"What happened?"

See, I can be sensitive and empathetic AF. Rather than laugh, or be dismissive, I asked a question before jumping to a conclusion. She and the dog had disagreed on who was going where, rather than fall on him she'd tried to finesse it and, failing that (more on that later) chose a lawn instead of the sidewalk as a landing spot.

I let her sit for a moment, to collect her thoughts and assess herself. Bruises, maybe. No blood. How about we try to stand? Ah, she was good...

Ultimately, it turned out that she'd wrenched her big toe, which prevented her from staying on her feet but was remedied the next day (not for nothing are chiropractors called "bone poppers"). A bruise here, a scuff there and few ice packs and aspirin later... 

Nothing to get excited about. She's an athletic and robust woman for whom a little stumble isn't the end of the world.

And I didn't even have to roll down the window.