The Coat of Many Colors

 Clearly, a large number of people who shouldn't have firearms actually apply through the process and obtain firearms.

William Bratton

Common sense firearms laws.

Count me in. There are individuals, and classes of individuals, who should not be permitted to own or possess a firearm. There should be certain situations in which lawful possessors refrain from handling a firearm. And, there are certain types of weapons rightfully prohibited to all but military. This is not an invitation to argue, but serves as a basis for what follows. If you don't agree, I respect that. You know where to find me.

The Colorado Legislature last year, in what might ironically be called their infinite wisdom, changed Colorado law so that municipalities within the state are permitted (read invited) to craft laws more restrictive of gun ownership than that permitted by state law. In essence, they decided that making it easier for Coloradans to inadvertently violate the law by the simple act of driving through a particular town served some larger, inexplicable purpose.

To wit: The city (and county) of Broomfield is considering multiple changes to their ordinances regarding firearms possession, use and purchasing. Some of these changes probably enjoy popular support (having to be 21 to buy a firearm, for example) while others are poorly thought out, contradictory or unwieldy. Briefly:

In one section (9-72-020), it is an offense (punishable by a fine of over $2000, a year in jail or both) to possess a firearm, unless at one's home, place of business or someplace over which they exercise some control. Yes. Broomfield handily notes that it is an affirmative defense if the firearm is unloaded, in a locked container (the trunk of your car is not a locked container). What this means is that if I am (hypothetically, of course) headed for a vacation in the mountains, with several firearms in my vehicle not in locked containers and I drive through Broomfield - I am violating their laws even if it does not violate state law, or the laws of any other jurisdiction through which I've driven, or where I'm headed. In addition, an affirmative defense is raised in court, after a summons has been issued and the firearm seized. This violates a state law prohibiting such laws. Does a car represent property under my control? Broomfield doesn't say, but their ordinance reads "on property." You tell me how a municipal court judge will rule.

But, wait! Section 9-72-140 prohibits open carry, except in a motor vehicle for the purpose, among others, of self defense as permitted under state law (18-12-105.6). That exception, as drafted, only applies to Section 140. So, which is it? Locked container required (020) or in my car (140)? Or, neither? Or, both?

On it's face, Broomfield's expansive requirements for training and/or experience to purchase a firearm is sensible. Let's get into the weeds. If one has been discharged from the military within three years, that is deemed sufficient. Really? I served in the Naval Reserve for five years and was once invited to fire six rounds from a beat up, relic revolver to kill some time during "Knife and Fork School." That was it. But that would qualify (within the three year period) under this ordinance. Others have to prove that their course included deescalation techniques. Like...what?

A training class is otherwise required, having been completed within ten years (if you aren't a cop, a veteran or something), written in "must" language, that has to include instruction on Broomfield's laws, and the so-called Red Flag Law passed within the last few years. I'm an educated man, but how is a training session 9 years ago going to anticipate Broomfield's new laws? A prospective gun purchaser will have to take yet another course.

The penalty for selling a gun to someone without this complicated scheme in place? Two grand and/or a year in jail. So, a cottage industry will grow up teaching gun shops, and cops, how to read Broomfield PD's tea leaves.

But, okay. Broomfield admits that, like other nearby municipalities, they are going to get sued. Splendid. What else could they have spent their money on, for the benefit of their citizens? How about better training for their officers?

Finally, and I acknowledge the following observation is plaintive and fruitless. The state of Colorado has already made officers personally liable for violations of a defendant's constitutional rights, and deprived officers of state protections under the broadly understood concept of qualified immunity. If you were a police officer, would you enforce Broomfield's laws knowing that they anticipated a lawsuit arising from their ordinances? Even if Broomfield suspends enforcement pending the outcome of a lawsuit, like the other jurisdictions... What parts are suspended? Any? All? Do they then become suggestions, guidelines? When the court case is over, and the Colorado Supreme Court issues another of its incomprehensible rulings, would you put into play your life, your fortune and your sacred honor enforcing this hodgepodge of laws?

It makes for a messy patchwork of laws requiring legal gun owners in Colorado to comply with ordinances that are both internally inconsistent and in conflict with the ordinances of jurisdiction with which they border. It unnecessarily makes criminals of citizens who cannot possibly be required to understand what is expected of them.

And, it doesn't address the underlying issue.

A Few Of My Favorite Things

 Winter is not a season, it is an occupation.

Sinclair Lewis

"Okay, Boomer."

There, I said it first. I'm going to mention an app on my phone, where I can alight on the temperature reading and get all kinds of displays about wind, relative humidity and precipitation. It's really interesting, and changes even hourly as the weather service updates their scientific wild ass guess. I do not dread the light blue bars signifying snow. I don't like it, but dread? No, not anymore.

1. I don't have to bundle up for the interminable "In the car-out of the car" evolutions, where a long-sleeved thermal shirt and winter uniform are a bit too cold outside, the thermal jacket too warm inside.
2. There are no "motorists" who should have stayed home that have found their way into ditches. Snow banks. Each other. Well, okay - a trash truck ended up on our front lawn last year.
3. I don't dread standing out in the cold at the range. All day. Listening to one of my favorite recruits complain that he can't feel his fingers.
   
4. It's been years since I've authorized shutting down Wadsworth at Jefferson, or Sheridan at Kentucky.

I have infinite respect for the men and women who do the above tasks, and many others. Truly infinite. On days like today (temperatures in the teens, a couple of inches of snow on the roadways) first responders take their lives into their own hands whenever they leave the parking garage. Seriously, a few days ago CSP remembered Molly Tyler, one of their troopers who died from the effects of an awkward fall on ice while working.

"Motorists" (here remember my late father's caution - "Just because you can make a car go forward doesn't mean you know how to drive") don't make life any easier. For example, a large placard should be posted on the dashboard of every all-wheel drive or 4X4 vehicle that four-wheel drive does not necessarily mean four-wheel stop. People who are not prepared for winter driving, which can occur on the Front Range any time from September to June, seem duty bound to sally forth into perilous conditions.

Chapeau, to all of you first responders out there who work in the cold and snow. I'm rooting for you.

So is Joy, who loves looking over my shoulder as I write. I just need to train her to fetch coffee. Training her to bring me another cinnamon roll was a disaster. So, I guess we all have our challenges.

And, hey... Let's be particularly careful out there.

 

It is a Puzzlement

 Justice will not be served until those who are unaffected are as outraged as those who are.

Benjamin Franklin

This week, a driver going the wrong way on a city street in Whittier, CA struck a large group of police academy recruits out for a morning run. The group was accompanied by safety vehicles and some members were wearing reflective vests.

Many of the recruits were injured, some critically. Media reported that one was on a ventilator. One of the injuries was reported as a "dismemberment." The driver was also injured, was arrested and his blood alcohol level tested. He was (reportedly) not intoxicated.

A day or so later, the driver was released from custody. The sheriff's department conducting the investigation said that, at that point, there was insufficient evidence to hold him in jail. And so he was released. From jail. Without posting any kind of bond, bail or surety. Without even an "I'll be back."

The SO stated that he was still a suspect, of course. They had determined that probable cause, in fact, did exist to charge the driver...in a day or so.

It is difficult to judge another police organization from afar... No, it's not. This guy mows down a class of police recruits while driving at a tremendous clip (look at the picture. Oh, no skid marks) and there isn't anyone around who can sit down at a computer and draft a compelling document that states probable cause?

No skid marks, high speed, going the wrong way, turns toward a large group of people at the last minute... Folks, we're 90% of the way there. There is video of the incident as it happens.

To quote a very good friend - "You're shitting me, right?"

Well, Thank You

 “Health isn’t about being “perfect” with food or exercise or herbs. Health is about balancing those things with your desires. It’s about nourishing your spirit as well as your body.”

Golda Poretsky

 Don't you just love election time? Aside from the blessed absence of "(Fill in name here) is too extreme for (fill in state here)" from every...fricking...YouTube video you want to watch, the People have spoken. Soon, those that were once candidates for office become the dreaded Elected Officials.

One person, recently elected to be the CEO of a local law enforcement "outfit" announced that the agency is going to embark on a wellness drive for their employees. I think this is awesome, marvelous. Necessary. I have a few "wellness" suggestions for any agency who might be inclined to think that their employees either aren't well, or could be, I suppose, weller. To wit:

Don't lie to your employees

This would seem to ascend to Captain Obvious status, but... Often, agencies try to couch bad news, or controversial positions, with the kinds of circumlocutions that depart reality within the first couple of words and never are seen again. It's fine to want to soften some blows - "There is no money for annual cost of living raises" isn't pleasant to contemplate. But consider this.

Every police officer, sheriff's deputy and state trooper is taught, from day one, to understand that people with whom they interact on the streets will lie to them. They are trained, specifically and often, how to detect lies and to diligently seek the truth. Do you think they turn that off when they enter the police building and start listening to command staff?

Don't remind them how it was "Back in the Day"

When life has dealt lemons, being told the lemonade twenty years ago was more bitter doesn't help anyone. I know, I know... You didn't have portables. You had six-shot pistols and the academy was shorter, the trainers harsher. You did more things alone and blah, blah blah.

Didn't you just...just...make them sit through a class on deescalation where you taught that everyone's travails are worthy of respect? It's one thing to remind them that tough times don't last, but tough people do. Be anti-fragile. Right. Roger, that.

Do you know how much the average officer cares about how tough you had it? Apparently, there are sightless fish who live in ponds in limestone formations a mile below the surface of the Earth. They are sightless, and never experience the surface, or feel the sun. Those fish care more about what happened "Back in the Day" than the young officers in your agency, and a lot more than the veterans.

Don't expect the officers to take training seriously if you don't

How do they know? Okay, be honest with yourself. PowerPoint has its place, but when you get a hundred cops in a room together and someone reads PowerPoint slides to them, or plays the same tired talking head clips year in and year out... What do you think they are learning? Frankly, whatever is on their phone.

Not everyone is Kevin Gilmartin, or Jamie Brower. But, spend a few bucks, bring in an outside professional from time to time. And when the training is supposed to be running and gunning...let them run. Let them gun. Don't make everything a test. I know it's expensive.

Did you read how much a couple of poorly-trained cops cost a department in Northern Colorado?

Finally

"We can't recruit people to be cops!" "They won't stay!"

Really. Wellness isn't about treadmills and trauma lectures. It's about understanding that you can't treat cops like there is always someone else out there who will take the job if the cop doesn't want it. Treat them like a perishable commodity you can't replace at any price. Because you can't.

 

Lacing Them Up

 

I asked my old man if I could go ice-skating on the lake. He told me, "Wait til it gets warmer."

Rodney Dangerfield 

Rink rats.

 

One does not merely "put on" ice skates, any more than one puts on tactical gear ("Jocks up") or a super-hero uniform ("Suits up"). One laces up.

 

My first ice skates came in a box marked "Skating outfit." In my eleven-year-old mind, that didn't just include skates, but an ensemble. Looking back, I'm not sure what I expected. The skates were enough of a challenge, anyway, since the first time I ever skated was at a birthday party, wearing my newly-purchased outfit. I spent 99 percent of the time either falling to the ice, laying in a heap or struggling to my feet. Only to immediately fall, again.

 

Ever the late bloomer, it was a few years later that I mastered the art of skating. Specifically, I mastered using a hockey stick as both high-wire pole thereby increasing the moment of inertia (whatever that means) and adding a third leg to the unsteady platform. That did the trick, until I discovered goaltending. That is another story.

 

It also began a life-long, if periodic, relationship to both ice skating, and hockey. And this is where we pick up the story, circa 2022.

 

It is possible for a sixty-eight year old man to "lace them up" and remain upright on the ice. Tentatively, uncertainly, but with some effort and a conservative approach it is achievable. I know. I am helping teach my four-year-old granddaughter to skate.

 

Her mom and dad, bless their hearts, have provided significant back-up. They embraced the "skating outfit" principle, buying their daughter not merely excellent skates, but an ensemble that keeps her both warm and safe. Snow pants, a good winter jacket, gloves that stay on (and from which ice shavings may be periodically licked by the tiny skater) and a helmet that is both warm and protective - we are off to lessons.

 

I differ, somewhat, with the approach taken by the young and friendly coaches. Much of the drills are taken up with the young children (all about 4) looking at their feet. If (I learned this in cycling) your body tends to follow the gaze of your eyes, I would prefer something else. But, this is their class and my grandaughter is progressing nicely, so who am I?

 

There is a blast from the past as we lace up our skates. The sound of the rink. The wooden benches, the gear strewn about. The humid cold, even on a beautiful 50's fall Colorado afternoon. At one end of the ice are tweens chasing a little vulcanized rubber disk, whacking at it with sticks and, occasionally, firing it at a net.

 

"How do they feel?" we ask. 

"Perfect," she answers.

 

She adapts amazingly well, since her parents bought great skates that fit her. She is laced up, she walks in them with confidence (and minimal ankle wobble) and we take to the ice. We're on the slippery (but rock-hard) surface for perhaps half an hour before she decides - probably quite reasonably - that she's gotten everything out of the lesson she intends to draw. It's time to go. And, bone tired, jarred by dozens of falls, she runs back to the lobby as though she's worn these skates for decades.

 

It is impossible to tell my granddaughter what a wonderful world she has entered, becoming part of another generation of rink rats. It is enough to be there as it unfolds, to share what was once my own field of dreams, and unlock for her a skill unlike any other. The day will come when a friend invites her to a birthday party at a rink, asking if she knows how to skate.

 

"Of course. My mom and my grandpa taught me."