One Job

 

“Congratulations to our hometown heroes, the Vegas Golden Knights, on conquering the Championship.”

Allegiant Airlines Facebook post, June 13, 2023.

 

Can’t you see it. The young marketing department person, feet precariously on the first rung of the company advancement ladder, in charge of non-critical Facebook posts (“Wanna get away?” Oops, wrong airline) gets a late evening text message:

Hey, the Golden…whatevers just won their match and they are carrying around a trophy. Put something out, huh?”

Roger that, boss. And, so they do.

I have fond memories of Allegiant, from a very very AM 2003 charter flight (Apple Vacations) from Denver to Cancun. It was an aged DC-9, probably wearing the livery of its third or fourth owner. It boarded at 4:15 AM – we’d really not slept in the limo that picked us up at 2:30. The captain was standing in the cockpit doorway greeting us:

Me: I hope you’re more awake than I am, Captain.

Him: Not especially. But, the plane knows the way.

It was a pleasant flight, a nice breakfast served. This was “Back in the day” when immigration forms were passed out and the flight crew helpfully conducted a tutorial on how to fill in the blanks. Like Mexican Customs did anything but stamp them a hundred and twenty-seven times. Nevertheless…

The lead flight attendant was affable enough, tall and stout, wearing a pastel green Boston cabbie-style scally. He had a thick Eastern European accent, which didn’t much hinder the easy stuff. When it came time to fill in the state of our destination, he said, “Quintana Roo.”

Fully three quarters of the passengers looked at someone else and half-whispered, “Huh?” If you’ve ever given directions to a group, or taught class and said something indecipherable, you know the looks and how they jump out at you. So, he said it again. And, again.

And then he shouted it into the microphone, totally over modulated and now completely unintelligible. Red-faced, tight-jawed… Finally, he spelled it out.

“Oh,” we all said in instant recognition. Two hours later I was having my second margarita on the beach, beside my lovely wife, at a wonderful resort alongside the Caribbean in Playa del Carmen, Quintana Roo, Mexico.

This person last night was given one job. It should have been fairly simple. The Vegas Golden Knights, playing excellent hockey in front of a goaltender pulling crucial saves out of…thin air…crushed an exceptional opponent on the way to:

Winning The Cup.

If Allegiant is hiring social media part-timers during hockey season, I’m ready to go. I’ve written about this particular sport (Denver Post, June 2001, A Place Where Dreams Come True). All I ask is the occasional flight to Quintana Roo.