Kindergarten Cop

Detective John Kimble: I have a headache
Lowell: It might be a tumor.
Kimble: It's not a tumor! It's not a tumor. At all!
Kindergarten Cop (1990)

Ask an elementary school teacher about the cold and flu season. Go ahead. They will tell you the same thing a Police Academy staff member says.

Me: Where is Recruit (fill in a name)?
Them: In the bathroom, puking.
Me: Awesome.

Just like a cruise ship, only without mai tais. Next thing you know, a third of the class has norovirus. Or some kind of virulent bug that begins as a runny nose, and then takes over the entire respiratory system. Midnight hacking and coughing, head full of gunk... "Reality-a concept" connection with surroundings.

In the ten years prior to Academy duty, I called in sick twice. I've missed four days in the last ten months.

"Wash your hands!" "Cover your mouth when you cough."

Heard 'em all. But when you pack forty-eight people into a room...

I have to go. I'm having a coughing fit. But, at least it's not a tumor.